ain't it fun

tonight was fun. it was.
I started out really lonely and hollow feeling, the way a too dark bar with too loud music will do.
and prayed it would be busy because i felt so sad that it felt like i was moving through mud.
but nothing a game of 'would you rather' with a couple of charming, gum chewing perverts couldn't cure.
i learned that nothing ever trumps man tits as the least desired of the rathers. not even a great big, long and square lady ass.


ooooohhh Uncle 'lijiah


lasagna: who forced me into playing the entire pink floyd 'wish you were here' album, but at the end i was glad we did.



right now i just feel really overwhelmed.
i have to finish these cuts and get them to angel in 6 hours and I still have a good 3 hours to finish.
i feel like i should do them now because i am afraid that if i sleep, i won't wake up. ever.
but at 3:30am after a full day/night of working i am exhausted.
not all the time, but sometimes, i feel like i am living in a house of cards and it is all i can do everyday to keep my entire world from falling down on me.
and i'm not complaining. this is what i choose. this is what i want. and when i get it, i will own it and it will feel amazing because it was hard earned, but sometimes, it's a bit overwhelming.
ah fuck what am i complaining about. there are a lot of people out there who have it a lot harder.
i am lucky i have a chance.
and i am grateful.
sweet dreams.
xo,s